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1. |
Apex Predators
02:32
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I’m a sexy, sexy monster
And my prey’s the professoriate
Well, my prey’s wherever you are at
In your crazy khaki pants
How I love to make you dance
Babe, you never stood a chance
Apex predators
Are the prettiest of all
Apex predators
Always hold you in their thrall
First we make you run then curl up into a ball
Sweet and small
Then we poke you till you crawl
I’m a sexy, sexy monster
And my prey is academia
Should I fry you or just steam ya
In your button up plaid shirt
Watch you bubble in the dirt
Not quite dead but mortal hurt
Apex predators
Rule the seas and skies
Apex predators
Like the geeky egghead guys
Genius is the spice is our bookworm-berry pies
The surprise
Of a scholar when he dies
I’m a sexy, sexy monster
And my prey is pedagogic brains
Babe, you really give me hunger pangs
All those papers left to grade
They’re like roughage ready made
Makes digestion smooth as suede
Apex predators
Hunt by night and day
Apex predators
See the whole world as their prey
Really ought to love us or we’ll eat you en flambe
Well, okay
We’d eat you anyway
Babe, okay
I’ll eat you anyway
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2. |
Dorian the Dragon
02:20
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Put on your armor, Dorian
Adamant are your scales
Scorpions cringe and hornets flinch
When you lash your razor tail
Fasten your helmet, Dorian
Horns like the crescent moon
Seal your fate and change your shape
By the light of a silver rune
Can't save the whole world, Dorian
Can't heal the countless woes
But something is right when you fly by night
Igniting up your foes
Bright is your shadow, Dorian
Blue is your wicked flame
Stars on your wings and ruby rings
How we tremble at your name
Put on your armor, Dorian
Show all the earth your teeth
Make mortals weep then go to sleep
On your couch in the coral reef
Put on your armor, Dorian
Tear the despair and rot
You're long and you're strong and your dragon song
Is the only song we've got
Put on your armor, Dorian
Flash us your fanged smile
Give me a ride on your golden hide
And I'll sing to thee a while
Give me a ride on your golden hide
And I'll sing to thee a while
Give me a ride on your golden hide
And I'll sing to thee a while
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3. |
Lady Knight, Pale Lady
05:20
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The Lady Knight stood on a hill
Her eyes grave as the thunder
And down upon the Vale she gazed
Where brave flew all the banners
Lords and ladies gathered there
In silks and broidered velvets
And round about their wrists they wore
The finest golden leashes
Hawks and hounds and panthers rare
Were bound by gilded shackles
Meek and mild and tame withal
They ne’er did show their hackles
But in the kingly tent enthroned
A sovereign rich and haughty
And to his wrist all bound in gold
There was a pale lady
“Come, my friends, come gather round!”
The sovereign roared so brazen
“A tourney shall I hold today
The prize shall be this maiden!"
And to the lists there flocked a dozen
Handsome lords and princes
Mirror-bright their helmets shone
Their mighty horses prancing
How strong were some with sword and shield
How scrupulous the archers
How silken supple, quick and true
Those few who fenced with rapiers
And some, their lances lean and long
Competed in the tourney
To strike like lightning smites the oak
And woo this gentle lady
But one who wielded sword and shield
Proved staunch and unbeleaguered
Whose every target arrow found
Who ne’er a match conceded
And at the hastilude it proved
No prince could e’er unseat her
Unparalleled at every tilt
No spear did dare defeat her
“Oh, lordly knight, O champion!”
The King cried, bluff and blithely
“Remove thy helm and bend thy knee
Receive from me my lady!”
The Lady Knight removed her helm
Her breastplate and her gauntlet
But from her high horse never stirred
Nor did the King acknowledge
But lo the pale lady stood
Cast off her bracelet golden
And to her gaze there sprang a gleam
As fierce as any falcon
“This Lady Knight has won me, King
She battled for my honor
By bruise and blood she bought my chains
I no more am your daughter!
“O Lady Knight, what would you ask
Of one who is your debtor?”
“O nothing,” said the Lady Knight
“Except you walk unfettered.”
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4. |
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Trap her in thorn, and she’ll slip her skin
Drown her in water, she’ll learn to swim
Burn her, she’ll turn into smoke and wind
Think you can catch her?
Well, think again
Fox demon, foxy face
Foxgirls don’t know their place
Marry her, bury her
Water her bones
Set your sons over her
Let them to spy on her
Hound her and harry her
Pelt her with stones
Trap her in thorn, and she’ll slip her skin
Drown her in water, she’ll learn to swim
Burn her, she’ll turn into smoke and wind
Think you can catch her?
Well, think again
Cunning, conniving
A vixen, a villain
She’ll pull out your liver
And eat it with rice
Fingers for turnips
And bowls full of maggots
Your blood in her wineglass
Runs colder than ice
Trap her in thorn, and she’ll slip her skin
Drown her in water, she’ll learn to swim
Burn her, she’ll turn into smoke and wind
Think you can catch her?
Well, think again
The wide world over
They all try to tame her
Like Lilith and Lamia
Serpent and whore
Arcane she is, dangerous
Ever the demoness
Black widow, blood shadow
Thirsty for more
Trap her in thorn, and she’ll slip her skin
Drown her in water, she’ll learn to swim
Burn her, she’ll turn into smoke and wind
Think you can catch her?
Well, think again
Seductive illusion
All craft and confusion
She’ll tuck up her tail
And take to the wood
She’ll duck as you’re nearing her
Fuck you for fearing her
Fox girls are clever
And up to no good
At least, so they tell me
She’s up to no good
But do I believe them?
I don’t think I should
Trap her in thorn, and she’ll slip her skin
Drown her in water, she’ll learn to swim
Burn her, she’ll turn into smoke and wind
Think you can catch her?
Well, think again
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5. |
Maggot
03:35
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Maggot was a banshee
Born in Colorado
One of seven sisters
And the youngest too
Grew up in a trailer
Right outside Durango
Sang so much her freckles
All turned blue
Maggot was a banshee
Born in Colorado
All she ever wanted
Was her own rock band
But she’d never make it
To her lifelong sorrow
When they saw her coming
Folks just turned and ran
Maggot at the talent show
Took out all the first row
Maggot at the baseball game
O Say Can You See the flame?
At the Karaoke bar
Maggot never got too far
How her little faced turned red
When the patrons all dropped dead
Maggot was a banshee
Born in Colorado
Went into the woods
Where she weep alone
Birds died on their branches
Badgers in their bushes
Otters in their rushes
As she moaned and groaned
Maggot, are you crying?
What’s with all this ruckus?
Asked the queer girl standing
At the river’s brim
I can hardly function
What with all your fussin
Why not drown your troubles
By just jumpin in?
Maggot saw the siren there
Lightning in her silver hair
Maggot heard the siren sing
Delicate and deadly thing
Maggot thought, How very fine
Here’s a voice to rival mine
Right here on the river foam
Feels so much like coming home
Maggot heard the siren
Calling out so sweetly
Knew it was a sound to make
A sailor cry
Opened up her mouth and
Harmonized so neatly
First time in her life
Where no one up and died
Maggot and the siren
Start up their own rock band
Play the bars in Bayfield,
Frisco, Gennessee
Tour around the country
In their rusty Dodge van
Never was a banshee
Quite so glad as she
Maggot and the siren sing
Rock, blues, country, anything
Beatles, Beach Boys, and the Who
Phantom of the Opera too
People come from near and far
To hear these eldritch superstars
Sing along into the night
No one dies from their delight
Maggot was a banshee
Born in Colorado
One of seven sisters and the youngest too
Now she has a trailer, shares it with her siren
Drinking, singing, rocking
Making dreams come true
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6. |
Rose's Garden
04:22
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Rose's garden is beautiful
But we never never say that
In the long dark sky
Rose's garden is beautiful
But we never never never never never say that
In the long dark sky
Rose plants willows in her garden gold
Lilies, violets, yellow tulips bold
She plants milkweed and chrysanthemum
But she never plants a rose tree
And I don't ask why
Rose plants asters and wisterias
Phlox and sages and Veronicas
She plants irises and daffodils
But she never plants a rose tree
And I don't ask why
Won't you come into my garden green?
Garden perfumed like a world unseen?
Rose, Oh Rosie, won't you marry me?
When I shower her with roses
She begins to cry
Now she walks the flowered dark alone
Black-eyed Susan keeps her company
Coralbells and hostas cling to her
And she never plants a rose tree
'Neath the long dark sky
Rose's garden is beautiful
But we never never say that
In the long dark sky
Rose's garden is beautiful
But we never never never never never say that
In the long dark sky
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7. |
After the Rapture
02:06
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Sleep, sleep and dream, my friend
World without us and world’s end
Fallow the fields and ghosts on the wind
Sputter through weeds and sigh round the bend
Sleep, sleep, my darling own
World without us and world alone
Bound all in shadows the monsters roam
Piteous, pitiless, pale as bone
Sleep, sleep, my great and true
World without us, nor me, nor you
Wreckage of palace and cottage too
Shattered the shipyards, my love, adieu
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8. |
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They say my name means eulogy
They say my name means death
They say my name means prisoner
My name means emptiness
They say my name means weariness
They say my name means damned
Lonely ghost at midnight
Shadow, shame, and sham
But I am gone, gone, gone
I am gone beyond your shaming
I am gone, gone, entirely gone
I am gone beyond your naming
My name means awake
My name means awake
My name means free
There is nothing wrong with me
I am gone, gone, gone
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9. |
Luskville Wedding Song
04:02
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He's an inner city boy
And Devonshire is strange
Alien and ancient
Resistant to change
Dorset to the east
Cornwall to the west
Bounded in the north
By Somerset
Do you like me, she asks
Will you keep me awhile
And the graveyard is lit
By the sun on her smile
Do you like me enough
Will you see me again?
As he answers her now
So he answered her then
Insha'Allah, Insha'allah
The words of her baba
Auxilio divino, the cry of the land
I'll see you whenever
I'll love you forever
And if you'll just ask me
I'll give you my hand
Here there be lions
And ghosts in the trees
Castles and fields
And speeding RVs
He drives all through Dartmoor
To meet her by noon
But Chagford, he thinks
Might as well be Brigadoon
Do you like me, she asks
Will you keep me awhile
And the graveyard is lit
By the sun on her smile
Do you like me enough
Will you see me again?
As he answers her now
So he answered her then
Insha'Allah, Insha'allah
The words of her baba
Auxilio divino, the cry of the land
I'll see you whenever
I'll love you forever
And if you'll just ask me
I'll give you my hand
So they kissed on the tombstones
Where grave mosses clung
They kissed in the ruins
Where three witches hung
From Chagford to Glasgow
To London's great throng
In Luskville they married
And heard there this song
Do you like me, she asks
Will you keep me awhile
And the graveyard is lit
By the sun on her smile
Do you like me enough
Will you see me again?
As he answers her now
So he answered her then
Insha'Allah, Insha'allah
The words of her baba
Auxilio divino, the cry of the land
I'll see you whenever
I'll love you forever
And if you'll just ask me
I'll give you my hand
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10. |
Gentle Caliban
03:17
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Gentle Caliban, awaken
For the wizard he is gone
His daughter has forsaken thee,
Sailed into the dawn
The clouds are shredding open
Gone the wizard's gloaming shroud
Thou needst not cry to dream again
Now thy laughter is allowed
Perhaps the tree that held me
Meant to shield me from harm
Perhaps the man who saved me
Then enslaved me to his charm
But now my chains are melted
Into spiderweb and air
To answer thy best pleasure
I have come to wake thee here
Fear thee not, the noises
Are but songs to bring thee bliss
Fear thee not the thunder
Nor the lightning of my kiss
For Sycorax lies dreaming
Clad in pearl and in foam
Of Setebos returning
To the island of our home
Gentle Caliban, awaken
O awaken, my own
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11. |
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Foxipher flirts and the fire flirts back
Swish of her skirts on the pine needle track
Lend her your luck and you’ll never know lack
Dance, dance, Foxipher, dance
Foxipher smiles, not a crocodile’s grin
Savvy and sassy, vim-vigorous-vim
Voom-va-va-voom, what’s this drool on my chin
Dance, dance, Foxipher, dance
Foxipher sings, and the walls fall down
Wings all of silk and a honeybee crown
Braids up her hair, lets her red tail down
Dance, dance, Foxipher, dance
Dance, dance, Foxipher
Dance, dance, Foxipher
Dance, dance, Foxipher
Foxipher, Foxipher
Fox-Fire, Forest Fir
Dance, dance, Foxipher
Dance, dance, Foxipher
Dance, dance, Foxipher
Forest Fox, Fox’s Fur
Dance, dance, Foxipher
Dance, dance, Foxipher
Dance, dance, Foxipher
Foxipher, Foxipher
Yeah
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12. |
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I’d a boy just like the summer
Sneakers, jeans, and wayward hair
Local brews and outdoor concerts
Rode his bike to take him there
And he sometimes even loved me
Calloused hands upon my hips
But I felt it when he kissed me
How he barely moved his lips
I’d a boy just like the autumn
Russet gold and lapis skies
Straight and slender as an aspen
With the storm caught in his eyes
And he maybe even loved me
Like a book held in his hands
But he never tried to kiss me
And I didn’t understand
I’d a boy just like the springtime
Meadow-sweet and drenched in dew
And his heart was like a blossom
Every word he said was true
And he tells me that he loves me
Like the starlight and the moon
And I think I really love him
But it’s hard to tell so soon
I’d a boy just the winter
With his eyes as green as ice
And his touch was like a snowflake
That I craved at any price
And his heart was like the darkness
Clear and deep and vast and wide
And I stood among that vastness
There was nowhere left to hide
He’s the boy that winter followed
He’s the boy that winter dreamed
And whatever shape he summoned
He was never what he seemed
Oh, my boy that winter followed
All alone at winter’s door
Now I follow like the winter
He’s the boy that I adore
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13. |
Ivan Icarus (NSFW)
02:22
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Ivan Icarus
Has an itch to scratch
Goes to see the Pope
"I’ve got an itch
And it makes me twitch -
And it won't wash out with soap!"
The Pope sez he
"The rosary!
You’ll pray it every night
And if you’re good
Why then you should
Be cured all of this blight."
Ivan Icarus
Works those beads of his
Ne'er his itch departs
Twelve saintly maids
"Our Fathers" say
Yet Ivan stings and starts
He cries to God
"My lightning rod
It burns and swells and prods!
My wanton needs
Would with these beads
Turn maidens into bawds!"
Ivan Icarus
Irreligiously
Seeks a witch instead
Her hut on chicken feet
Points on all her teeth
Bones ground in her bread
The witch she grins
And pours him gin
"Oh, Ivan, rest your head!
There's not a rash
That can't be scratched
Upon a witch's bed."
Ivan Icarus
Lets that witch of his
Pull and tug and rub
On counterpane
On kitchen tile
And three times in her tub
And though by dawn
He sleeps so sound
He wakes up swoll and sore
"Oh, Ivan dear
Your itch, I fear
Resists its goodly cure!"
Ivan Icarus
Groans so piteous
"More I can't endure!
Nor God nor saint
Nor witch nor haint
Can scrub the filthy pure!"
"Oh, Ivan dear,"
The witch she leers,
"But one thing's very sure..."
She climbs atop
His turgid lump
"The only cure is more!"
Ivan Icarus
Has an itch to scratch
What's a lad to do?
But roam the Earth
In search of mirth
And good hand lotion too
And prayers and beads
And saintly maids
May help him muddle through
But foreign lands
And witch's hands
Can't hurt a boy who's blue
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14. |
O Salubrious Bruise!
03:17
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O salubrious bruise
You bright scar becoming
First thought of morning
O you mendicant muse
Relentlessly far
As near as my breathing
How the drench of your scent
Takes over then sun-
Light, stains all my clothing
How your tenderness clings
Like spidersilk, milk-
Sweet, bitter as coffee
Why must I be afraid
When what you would give
Is bravery freely?
Why should I be unsure
When sure as my pulse
Your love comes like springtime?
Here, the impact is yours
The cracks in my armor
Filling with starlight
Slow, our long conversation
Giving and taking
Skies undiscovered
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15. |
The Jub-Jub
03:58
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The time has come, the walrus said
To talk of many things
Of shoes and ships and sealing wax
And cabbages and kings
And why the sea is boiling hot
And whether pigs have wings
Jub jub
Jub jub
Jub jub
Jub jub
Mimsy were the borogoves
Out among the slithy toves
Brillig twas every way today
Walking ‘neath the TumTum tree
Yon Jabberwalk struts up to me
Hey you, my manxsome foe, I say
Snicker snicker snack
Snicker snicker snack snack
Snicker snicker snack
Snicker snicker snack
Snicker snicker snack snack
Galumph ye here, my Jabberwock
Come and taste my Vorpal Sword
Out in the Tulgey Wood today
Here I beam, your buoyant knave
Blade in hand, my eyes aflame
Let us all sing out Calloo, Callay!
Let us all sing out, Calloo Call—
Gyre and gimble in the wabe
Let us all sing out, Calloo, Call—
Mome my raths won’t you outgrabe?
Let us all sing out, Calloo, Call—
O hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Let us all sing out, Calloo, Call—
Caught him in thy claws that catch
Let us all sing out, Calloo, Callay
Let us all sing out, Calloo, Callay
It doesn’t really matter
One way or the other, no it doesn't really matter . . .
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16. |
Bonus: Madeleine
03:16
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Madeleine, where are you going?
Madeleine, where you have you been?
Madeleine, what are you looking for?
Where are you going?
Madeleine, I see you standing there
Is this present or is this past?
Madeleine, what does it matter?
Our love here is meant to last
Touch me, my distant Madeleine
Come, open up your glass
Touch me, is this a memory?
I hear you laughing
Madeleine, I know you’re grieving
Your heart’s so wild and sore
Madeleine, you have a friend in me
I’m your friend forevermore
Madeleine, Madeleine
Hold me
And I’ll find you
I will find you
On the other side of dreaming
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Brimstone Rhine Queens, New York
Brimstone Rhine is an imaginary rockstar. She is also the alter-ego of fantasy writer and audiobook narrator C. S. E.
Cooney.
Glenn Kendzia, Jack Hanlon, and Matt McLaren are all real-life rockstars. Check out "Wild Sun" on BandCamp if you want to hear more of Glenn's own work!
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