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Ivan Icarus (NSFW)

from Corbeau Blanc, Corbeau Noir by Brimstone Rhine

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about

This was actually written before the backers' album songs, but I liked it so much, I wanted to throw it in with the others. Plus, my brother Jeremy just sings the part of Ivan Icarus so well, I couldn't help it! >.>

lyrics

Ivan Icarus
Has an itch to scratch
Goes to see the Pope
"I’ve got an itch
And it makes me twitch -
And it won't wash out with soap!"

The Pope sez he
"The rosary!
You’ll pray it every night
And if you’re good
Why then you should
Be cured all of this blight."

Ivan Icarus
Works those beads of his
Ne'er his itch departs
Twelve saintly maids
"Our Fathers" say
Yet Ivan stings and starts

He cries to God
"My lightning rod
It burns and swells and prods!
My wanton needs
Would with these beads
Turn maidens into bawds!"

Ivan Icarus
Irreligiously
Seeks a witch instead
Her hut on chicken feet
Points on all her teeth
Bones ground in her bread

The witch she grins
And pours him gin
"Oh, Ivan, rest your head!
There's not a rash
That can't be scratched
Upon a witch's bed."

Ivan Icarus
Lets that witch of his
Pull and tug and rub
On counterpane
On kitchen tile
And three times in her tub

And though by dawn
He sleeps so sound
He wakes up swoll and sore
"Oh, Ivan dear
Your itch, I fear
Resists its goodly cure!"

Ivan Icarus
Groans so piteous
"More I can't endure!
Nor God nor saint
Nor witch nor haint
Can scrub the filthy pure!"

"Oh, Ivan dear,"
The witch she leers,
"But one thing's very sure..."
She climbs atop
His turgid lump
"The only cure is more!"

Ivan Icarus
Has an itch to scratch
What's a lad to do?
But roam the Earth
In search of mirth
And good hand lotion too

And prayers and beads
And saintly maids
May help him muddle through
But foreign lands
And witch's hands
Can't hurt a boy who's blue

credits

from Corbeau Blanc, Corbeau Noir, released July 13, 2018
C. S. E. Cooney (vocals)
Jeremy Cooney (guitar, vocals)

license

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tags

about

Brimstone Rhine Queens, New York

Brimstone Rhine is an imaginary rockstar. She is also the alter-ego of fantasy writer and audiobook narrator C. S. E. Cooney.

Glenn Kendzia, Jack Hanlon, and Matt McLaren are all real-life rockstars. Check out "Wild Sun" on BandCamp if you want to hear more of Glenn's own work!
... more

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